Love is wad hurts me most.

Missing you

2011-03-26T15:08:00.003+08:00

I kinder miss eveything in the past...

miss the life i used to lead...
without worries, we were all once young and innocent..
we were all happy together...

memories could only be remembered but not replayed...

2010-11-14T14:05:00.002+08:00

I really cant believe I got drunk, really drunk last night... I actually vomited countless times... Did so much dumb things , people who were affected please accept my apologies . I'm sorry for being such a big burden .

Am I really attached? I don't even know ... I love and love but it was always unrequited... So tired.

I'm a big idiot!

2010-11-09T01:02:00.002+08:00

Life had been the same for me.... Work and meeting up with friends...

Sometimes I keep thinking of what I want but I never seems to know... Recently you been msging me.. Thinking I've been together with him, meeting him... I feel sad because you still care so much about me... While I have become so selfish only thinking about myself.... Sigh... Don't blame u for thinking that way... I really have no idea how to convince u I not contacting him at all...

I miss you at times. I don't wan u to know anything.... I am not good enough for anyone.... Just hope a nice girl comes along and be there to take care of you... Just afraid u don't know how to take care of urself....

New Start,

2010-10-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Just wanted to come back to blogging today...

Had been missing from here on and off.. nobody reads so im back..

I wanted to delete this blog and create a new one, but i decided it was too troublesome so i'll probably just change my link...

Life for me is working and going out to with friends.. Nothing much in particular... went for my first photoshoot last sun, it was fun yet tiring, so many poses and need to keep smiling or stand in weird positions... it's not easy being a model like what you see in pictures...

Work is still the same but something seems to be missing in my life... it's love..

Been eating steamboats 3 times in row in one week... omg.. first was the meet up with joyce, her bf and tian rong den vanessa's bday den joyce's bday... i'm really sick of steamboat, pls dont ask me out for steamboat...

I never thought you were such a person. Someone I trusted wrongly. I regretted my decision, now there's no way i can get back what i want yet you're still demanding things from me. I just want to get over with it once and for all...I just want to let go of the past.... I dont wan to keep harping on it like you do... Trying to get back what you paid for, money you may but the feelings that you put in, how can you ever get it back? I wonder..... I may be in the wrong in some areas, but everything i did, it's never enough to ever get your trust....

2010-10-01T22:18:00.003+08:00

I'm so tired, really tired..

Why do you always pick on me and say this and that? Cant I do things my own way? You're just jealous because you are older and have to take care of me. My whole family does not understands me at all especially you. Stop thinking you know me inside out.

I'm really upset. Always says I treat outsiders better than family. As if outsiders would ever come n control ur life. Obviously would get along better, and outsiders don't know your habits at home, they dun stay with you.

I'm really Sick of these.. Just leave me alone.. Everything is against me.. Sometimes even if you try to treat someone sincerely , they still won't appreciate u.. I'm just being kpo n one sided.. I'm just stupid.. Since young, it's like that. Why? Am I so detestable?

Always say I'm stubborn, what about u ? You paid for the lesson n keep talking all over. I rather be broke n return u all than to feel so irritated.

2010-09-14T07:27:00.003+08:00

Been a million years since I ever updated again... I do miss my dairy... The one whose always keeping all secrets for me... The one whose always ready to be there for me and to be my listener...

遇见了你，是我的福气。
我爱你。
谢谢你对我的包容。

I've been a workaholic... It's time to think about my future.. What I should do and start planning now...

dead blog.

2010-05-18T21:57:00.002+08:00

Lol.. My blog is rotting somehow.. started working and have no time for anything at all..

Wait till I save up and get a new laptop!!

No more

2010-04-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

I really feel you don't need me anymore...

Pondering.

2010-04-10T01:03:00.002+08:00

It's clear that in every girl's heart, they wish to meet a guy who'll love them dearly, treat them
nicely, dote them alot. It's almost a dream for me. If you really know me, you'll know I'm almost the very pampered kind.. :/ I wish to be always the top priority for eveything.. It's kinda selfish and demanding I know.. But I have never ever once asked seriously for it.. Nor really voice out my thoughts..

Now I really believe, fate let us meet and decide if we're really soulmate. I believe if we are, we'll still be tgt eventually even if you have been separated. Otherwise, no matter how hard you try to work out, it's impossible. You can be happy for tat dew
moments but you still have to face the truth.

I'm really wondering why I'm so silly.

I can't sleep at this hour, because my mind is filled. Thinking about many
many 'dos' and 'ifs' . I must be crazy.

Hope I can get drunk for once and forget every lil unhappy stuff.

Interviewweww

2010-04-06T13:02:00.002+08:00

Went for my interview at profoto digital ytd and it was not bad, their office just expanded and quite big... Well, basically, i was too
nervous about it and kept stammering.. Kinda weird to see myself dressing up all formal too...

Er Jie has got a friend who intro me to her company too... It's a travel agency though... Better than being an accounts assistant I don't know... I just want a job and earn money to move out soon!!!:)

I'm packed with housework to do now... The price to pay because I do not have to pay my bills myself... Lol.. Quite a good deal but I rather pay on my own :-S I'm so lazyy!!

Sad.

2010-04-05T00:01:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep... No longer because I'm nervous but something else is affecting me...

I feel so insignificant.. So hard to explain how I feel now... There are a million over words yet which word should I use to describe that insecure feeling in me.. I'm such a failure..

Happy day:]

2010-04-03T16:18:00.002+08:00

It's been long since i last updated this blog. Many many things I want to tell my precious dairy..

Let's talk about today.. My eldest sis, Esther, brought me and my niece, jewel, to tampines mall to shop and have lunch.. I guess we left our house at about 11.30am.. First thing was we went into bata shoe shop and bought 2 pairs of shoes for jewel and a pair of pink sunglass.. She looks so cool wearing them:) I'm actually secretly in love with that sunglass too, it's really beautiful..

After which we went up to the little art shop beside popular as jewel insisted on doing the art piece painting.. So after paying, me and sis left her there to do her art while we left to isetan to shop.. Sales were going on everywhere which I had no idea why. However, in glad to be able to get some loots from sis. She bought me 2 bags and a bracelet.. Thanks sis.

We went back to pick jewel then went to popular shop and to swensen for lunch:D it was a sumptous and delicious meal.. Totally enjoyed the few hours we spend today..

Anyway, my lappy is down, either the screen or 'motherboard' spoilt, got to wait till I get a job den can send it for repair as it cost a few hundred. Or should I get a new laptop instead? Still considering.. But I want my stuff back inside my laptop. ): so many pictures and stuff which are very important to me. Most probably I'll try to repair it instead. ;)

so now I'm using my super iPhone to update, love it to max, can do whatever I want, play games, surf net, fb, blog at anywhere anytime;)
thanks iPhone baby.. Haha..

Another thing is I got back my results, I know it sucks like shit but at least I'm glad I finally graduated from that stupid school..

Emo me.

2010-02-24T12:23:00.002+08:00

Wanted to upload the other time but I was simply too lazy to do so, so much to update.

New year was the same as any other year except that I got more angbao money this year :D Which was a good thing because I used only like less than 1/4 to buy my iphone.

Reason being, my eldest sister won money on gambling and gave every family member additional $50. Secondly, my line contract had expired and $100 voucher was offered to me because I called to ask :S Thirdly, mine was a higher plan plus student plan so it was cheaper by another $50 off. Initially the phone was $268 for my plan. After discount and the money my sis gave me, I only paid like $68 for the phone? SHIOK!! HAHA, dun envy!

Obviously very happy about my loot, cause then, I can use internet anytime anywhere. Although everyone's using it, but it's better than getting a nice looking lollipop for another 2years without any functions to entertain me n getting bored of it after a few months. Iphone has got so many apps that i think i would never get bored of it! :D Actually I can even blogged with it but Im just LAZY! :S

Like finally I updated my blog after so long. I still prefer to type :)

New year

2010-02-11T18:38:00.002+08:00

New year's round the corner, sis bought 4 sets of new clothes for me.. THANKS :D Got myself a new pair of heels and slippers, and also a pink tube dress for Chu Yi.

Have you ever had this feeling that you do not wish to do anything at all but just to laze around? Been having a bad headache recently and it's driving me crazy. I just can't wake up in time for school, all the lessons are killing me. Some classmates are so noisy and it makes my headache worst. However, all of us are graduating soon after the march exam, there's nothing to be so calculative about. Hereby, wish everyone a happy new year and good luck for the exam..

I guess I won't be blogging here for some time.. May be creating a new blog.. Take care everyone..

BAck!

2010-01-30T00:32:00.003+08:00

Super duper lazy to update my blog, but im here randomly.

Woah, I skipped lesson today and went out early at 11am to shop on my own, bought my heels, dress and the garnier roller for anti dark eye rings at only $12.90! :DD Cheaper than watsons by $2. Usual price was like $19.90.

Im so happy with my little loots for my party tmr! :D I was so engrossed in my thoughts I sat overstop because when it reached my stop, I was too stun to alight :S How silly can I be?

Happy birthday to me on 1 feb. I'll try to take more pictures and update asap aft tmr! :D omg, saw the pink panther which i wanted so badly, so addicted to hai pai! got to wait for next episode!

I don't want any more tiring life .. It's enough.

School school school

2010-01-06T23:27:00.002+08:00

Back to school today, only in the afternoon. Accounting lessons doing questions, sigh, exam next wed yet still dont know how to do at all..

Realised something, so funny, almost laugh til I faint.

My birthday coming up soon, the girls are celebrating for me in advance probably on the 30th of Jan, Sat because 1 Feb is a Monday )= Still planning in progress what we'll be doing, most probably clubbing at night.

Won't be back for update since I got nothing much to update, everyday's just school till wonderful weekends. :)

Good luck for exams everyone ! :D

Tired.

2010-01-05T16:25:00.003+08:00

Didn't attend school today, reason because I overslept and wasn't feeling well, headache all the way. )= Sigh.

Sometimes I dont understand why people can be so fake and hypocritical, only when they need you, they look for you, otherwise they can be so sarcastic. One moment they are so good with you, the other they just turn their back on you. True friends are those who will not leave you no matter wad happens, and stand by you, accept you for who you are.. Not being together to gain benefits from one and another, issen't it? These are my thoughts for the day because I've been see-ing such things happening around me and mayb to me too? But ppl being my friends stand to have no benefits so I dun tink I'm really one of them. Haha

Meeting up with PMH later..

I really miss you alot, will you be back with me to face everything? Nobody can be trusted..

Happy new year

2010-01-04T21:20:00.003+08:00

A new haircut to welcome a new year :) Hopefully everything would turn out well and good for me.

These are my new year resolution:

1) Get my driving license asap.
2) New phone, dont know which model yet, mayb iphone?
3)New clothes!
4) New shoes!
5)To be happy everyday
6)Enjoy a memorable birthday celebration
7) Camera to shoot all I like!
8)Decorate my room!
9) Things tat I fell in love with.
10) Everyone to live healthily :) and stay happy!
11) After graduation, enjoy and get a good job! ( or mayb continue studying)

That's about all. Accounting exam again next week, I dread it. Having to mug hard for a new topic again, luckily I still know how to do a lil. But still got to study hard. I really wish to graduate out of tat school ASAP.

I miss you alot, do you know? I'm kinder exploding soon. I need care and concern too.

New year

2009-12-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

New year's round the corner, hope I can revive my blog soon. I just need more time.

Too many things happening.. I just wish to be alone.

Anyway enjoyed my christmas eve bbq-ing with my friends :) Thanks ah siang for catching the little doll for me. :)

Reminscenes.

2009-12-17T16:04:00.004+08:00

Too much to upload.

From Seconday till then. lots and lots of memories and pictures. Randomly uploaded. :) Miss all the girls!

Kill me please.

2009-12-12T18:12:00.003+08:00

I can't believe this. What the fuck!

Sigh. Anyone wants to find me can contact me in msn or facebook. Phone unavailable.

2009-12-10T13:19:00.001+08:00

Took a quiz from this website... http://colorgenicstest.com/color-personality-tests.html

Quite true, haha, i clicked it from my friend's blog.

You appear to others around you as a person who is simply 'laid back'. From time to time you shelve your ambitions and forgo the desire for prestige and recognition and you are often considered as mentally lazy. You have the ability and you are the first to know this, but you prefer to take things easy and indulge your longing for comfort and security.

You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.

You are a demanding egocentric and therefore quick to take offence. This attitude makes people feel somewhat inadequate when in your company and so it is no wonder that at times you feel alone and unwanted.

Stresses resulting from a recent disappointment have led to considerable trepidation. It would seem that there seems to be so much left undone. Everything surrounds you with that air of uncertainty. You badly need to feel a sense of security and whatever it takes to protect you against further disappointment. At this particular time you doubt that things could be any better in the future but you are sticking to your guns and refusing to take advice from any source.

Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a 'trier' and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, 'bounce back'.

2009-12-07T22:46:00.002+08:00

Berrylite..

Frolick..

Yammi..

Beautiful christmas tree at raffles..

Will be leavin berrylite after this week, sunday is my last day.. will be jobless then.. Lazy to update. shall just end here...

Dead

2009-12-03T01:38:00.002+08:00

Came to realise many things..

After living for 18years, now I know how bad a terrible human being I had been. I believe everyone makes mistakes, nobody is perfect. We should always reflect on ourselves before commenting on others, like me, I got no right to comment on anyone as I had been the worst.

Being a human ain't easy, making friends is not longer just shaking hands and saying hello. Being together is no longer just tender kisses and warm hugs. Everything is so complicated that I hate to grow up!!

The problem is me. It all lies with me. I'm a bad girl.

Exam ended.

2009-12-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yeah, exam finally ended. Was late for Audit exam. It's all over now and I'm glad.

Went straight to meet you and we went for dinner at Serangoon garden then eat frolick! :) After which pool session with TYG. haha! Super funny when he keep hearing what I said wrongly thinking it's another lame joke..

Enjoyable evening , thanks alot.. Good luck for your exam tmr!

Exam then holiday!

2009-12-01T22:45:00.003+08:00

Card which you gave me on our 1st month :)

LOL! Random photo I found when I was young. :S

I rmb I was very tall since young . Then, this boy who tried to kiss me if I'm not wrong is my mum's friend's son whom was my childhood friend. Lost touch with him since then. Kinder miss him :) We used to be called little couple. Cool right. haha

Dont jealous when u see this? hahaha!

Got to go study for my audit tmr! Jiayou everyone and my classmate. Hope everyone can pass with flying colours.. :)

will be back soon!

2009 class pic

2009-11-30T22:54:00.002+08:00

Forgot to post the class pic.. ( credits to Shujun)

She took it using her handphone.. This is one of the candid shot.. Time flies, it's been almost going to 2yrs since I entered Ite. And we are graduating soon in about 3months time after our one month holiday in dec.. Looking forward to holiday.. Anyone has got job lobang to intro?

When i thought I could.

2009-11-29T23:16:00.004+08:00

Random post. Some updates of random pictures too just to update this random blog with a random owner.. :S

Ain't the strawberries pretty? The little gingerman was what I saw at cold storage the other time and bought it to cheer you up.. Hope you did smile :)

Recently, things have not been going on too well for me. Everything has changed, be it things or people. I don't know and don't have the courage to face anyone now. Let me face this consequences now since I was the one who started it. Glad to have really true friends around me who never leaves me.

Life still goes on, no matter how hard it is. I have to face it.

empty

2009-11-22T18:33:00.002+08:00

Firstly, Happy belated birthday to Miss Lin Shu Jun! Hope she had enjoyed the surprises and celebrations :) We tricked her with a cheesecake but actually used it to smash her, but damage not worst than cream cake.. haha

AA2 is over but auditing coming soon in 2weeks time, cant slack too much too.. Really tired.. I'm so lazy nowadays..

It's time to make a choice, yes the one that I'll live happily with.. No more regrets, no more turning back.. I just want to be happy :)

This blog is dead.. Till one day I'm back to human state. And when I owned my own phone when I can take lots of pictures !

Exam.

2009-11-17T15:43:00.002+08:00

Accounting CA tmr! I guess I can pass. Yes, I'm just aiming for a pass and I'll be happy. Cause I really sux at it and just manage to understand a little more ytd with my teacher's coaching..

She almost went crazy because I failed the mock test she gave us last friday and immediately sms me telling me to go school punctually on monday at 10am so that she can teach me.. I must say she's a really good teacher.. So how can i slack? Went home immediately after school and mug all the way till midnight, managed complete about 2 sets of paper in 3hours.

Hopefully I can pass tmr :) Good luck to all my peers and cliques in school, god bless all of ur will pass and the rest with flying colours. :D

Paranomal Activity

2009-11-15T21:11:00.002+08:00

I'm back for a little update..

Went to watch Paranomal Activity ytd but it was not really tat scary.. Think they edited the film at the last part whereby the male actor got killed by his gf who had been possessed by the demon.. Damn scary she look when she was possessed.. Pity the guy

I've been thinking and thinking, my mind exploding soon! Can someone save me? ): Anyway, thanks for everyone's concern, i didn't smoke :)

Wanna upload some pictures.. but upload pictures to the lappy..

PHONE):

2009-11-10T00:47:00.003+08:00

Sigh, people, I'm just here to say, I've lost my phone and nobody will be able to contact me till mayb few days or a week later? Cause I've suspended the number. Once I get my new sim card, I will be using back the same number and I will inform here. So dun delete my number :)

How could I lose it? It was always with me, always on my hand. I can't believe it.

Break down.

2009-11-06T13:42:00.002+08:00

After so much had happened recently, I finally realise alot.

I'm really tired and exhausted having to struggle in between. When our r/s went wrong, you chose to give up. You regretted everything and wanted to change for me, I'm really very touched about it and appreciate ur thoughts. At tat moment, I really felt happy though. But soon, you start giving me pressure wanting me to do this and that because you felt it was unfair. I had to be fair to both of you, then who is being fair to me? Yes, you can blame me for my indecisiveness, it's my weakness. I couldn't make a choice.

Now I'm not trying to say I had been a very good gf, but at least I did everything I could to salvage this relationship. Sometimes I really dislike it alot the fact that you chose to run away and hide from our problem instead of facing it with me. You made me felt so helpless, all I could do was to cry. And you could just pretend nothing had happen, dont you? Why must we end up like this? What happened?

My heart aches alot, whenever i think of it. When I think of how you are suffering because of me, I really feel I don't deserve ur love. Everyone else is right, by saying I'm not worth it. I'm the only one in the wrong, mayb this wil make them feel happy? How superficial can they be? By judging a book by just it's cover. Did they even bother to flip and read the story inside?

I hate being forced. And what I hate most is see-ing you torturing yourself and being weak, I will really despise u if you continue tat manner. Am I supposed to follow ur footsteps so tat you can understand how I feel too? Sigh. Or should I try smoking? Tell me what to do. I really am at a loss.

In my heart, there's a decision to be made. But why can't I just do it? I'm going crazy soon.

work!

2009-10-31T10:55:00.002+08:00

woot! I haven been updating here for quite some time! But well, I'm still alive and kicking!

Stomach cramps is what I had most at the end of the month. ): It hurts and it's killing me. Sigh. Why do girls have to go through such torture? Why not guys :S

HAHAHA! gonna be late for work if I dun start moving now! Will be back soon! stay tune!

Updates of pictures for St James!

2009-10-27T00:35:00.006+08:00

Once again, HAPPY BDAE to MEIHUA!!

Me and my 10 years plus best best friend! LOVE HER!

Look! they eating my tofu, all hugging me :SS

This picture very nice right? Cause I take one mah . HAHAHA

I really look like a devil that night :S Anyway, really had an enjoyable night at Powerhouse. But Baoyu couldn't join us, so it was quite a pity. But she had her reasons, we can't blame her. Hopes her bf gets well soon. Take care girl, we don't blame you!! :DD I wanna see you soon!!

I wanna learn to cherish every single one of you in my life. I do not want any regrets, will I? I'm really very scare sometimes, kept wondering if I made the right decisions and choices in life.. Many things hanging in my head, left a mystery..

Although I might seem happy, but who knows deep down in my heart, I'm crying because I'm sad.. But I'm glad there are so much people caring for me..

Work more = money more

2009-10-25T21:53:00.002+08:00

Went to work from 2-6pm.

Went to eat laksa with some friends, thanks for the treat. Haha . At least got people can accompany me to eat. I'm very scare of loneliness.

Went back on my own in the train, smsed Javier, he kept making me laugh like an idiot to my phone . So qianda. :P I know he's creating a blog for me, so touched! Thanks baby! Now i can read ur thoughts! Haha

I cant say I have forgotten everything, but most of it. Cause I learnt to let go, just like u do. I want to cherish my baby and be the best that I can. :) 3 months challenge!! Here I come! HAHAHA

I must OWN you!!! Double kill, triple kills, monster kill, wicked sick.. hahahha

St James.

2009-10-25T01:32:00.002+08:00

Happy belated birthday to Poh Mei Hua!!!

It was her birthday ytd and we all gathered to go St James to celebrate for her. I met up with Jowena and her friend and we cabbed down together. It wasn't really that fun cause the music was so so and quite crowded. But I still danced cause it's gonna be my last time clubbing alone. lol. Meihua invited so many guy friends to protect us frm villains . LOL.

Really thanks the guys for protecting us which allows us to have an enjoyable night without disturbance. I had really relaxed alot alot while dancing with all my might last night.. My life will start anew as on today.. I really thanks those who had been always encouraging me and supporting me.. Now i got to move on.

Surprisely, got to know meihua's school mates who also stays at bedok and just a blk away from mine.. So we cabbed home together and I got 2 bodyguards walking home with me. Cool. Haha

I really feel, What's yours will still be yours eventually, what's not meant to be will never be. You hate because you loved, you miss because you regret..
Baby, I love you.

Love is all around.

2009-10-22T01:28:00.002+08:00

Took this from a girl's blog..

☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "LET HER BEAT AND ACT PAINFUL"
☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"
☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals your favorite pillow = "Let her keep it and slp with it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN U COULD UNDERSTAND!"
☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants you to read it"
☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her you love her

☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you
☆~ Stay up all night with her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

STRESS!!

2009-10-18T23:04:00.003+08:00

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAVIER TAN THE GREAT :DDD

I've been thinking alot and stayed at home the whole afternoon with my family watching 'Handsome Suit' which my sis rented for us.. Super funny and interesting..

I did enjoyed for a moment and forgot all about mum's nagging.. I know they all nag for my own good, because they love me. I really do appreciate it but sometimes too much of it just makes me feel very turn off, makes me want to be even more rebellious. Sometimes I really dislike the feeling of being treated like a kid when I'm already 18. I know what i'am doing.

I have been really upset and stressed. That's why I behaved so differently from how I used to be.. Sometimes, I really don't know who I can really trust. Who I can say everything to.. I need a break. Mummy, can you stop nagging me? stop scolding me for everything?

It's really not what I want that I behaved so rebelliously and rudely. But I just feel very very tired of talking nicely..

I must really thanks Mr greedy for always being there during these times when I'm really upset and don't know what to do.. Although he's kinder greedy but I appreciate all the counsellings sessions that he made an effort to give me, to call and talk to me properly. Sometimes, it feels like a brother though :S But I know you really love me and care for me, I love you too. I hope I can be a helping hand too when you are upset. :) What I am good at is only to cheer u up or make you laugh. Don't be surprise I blogged about you. You have been great! Thank you.

Goodbye.

2009-10-18T03:03:00.002+08:00

Went to Berrylite look for Vanessa. Chatted alot with her recently. Finally, I made up my mind. I no longer feel the pressure..

I really enjoyed myself today, freed myself from the thoughts.. I really thought through very clearly. How I really want things to be, what I really want.. I will miss you alot I swear, I still love u deeply in my heart. Everything will be kept and remembered. :) Hope you can have a smooth journey and take good care of yourself. .

有一种爱叫做放手，是否我们会更快乐？

As on today, I promised myself to move on. :)

Yakult Factory!

2009-10-17T03:27:00.005+08:00

Supposed to update this ytd but I was too sleepy while updating in the middle of the night and fell asleep straight.. Learn alot of cool facts about yakult. And Singapore's the only country which has 4 flavors. Pictures show the packaging of yakults in different countries.. lol

We got a free bar of yakult too. So cool, im gonna drink Yakult daily cause it's so cool for our body. :D

Went to pool with Mr greedy and friend. I'm so lousy. LOL.

Glad that I finally think through properly..

I want a rest.

2009-10-16T00:54:00.002+08:00

I'm dead beat now!!

Slept at 3am, woke up at 9plus for school. Jasmine late as usual, haha. Shujun's dad fetch us to school, thanks alot :D Otherwise I tink we wouldn't have attended even half the lesson. LOL!

Finished school and went down to Bishan Ite to return our F1 polo tees, long journey. Worked at 6pm till closing. It's been a really long time since I last did closing and also with Penny. Closing was fun. :) Working really made me cheered up a lil and more relaxed.

I've been thinking what I really want. I really really really feel very upset with myself, i've been very indecisive. This is the first time I felt this way, felt I couldn't do anything right. It's been countless days since I last slept well or ate well. I totally got no mood to do anything properly. My laughter drown, my tears flowed. But I still don't know what to do.

It's been quite some time, i shouldn't run away from the problem. I got to make a decision no matter what, worst come to worst. I shall just sacrifice myself. I rather be hate than to be loved cause I dun deserve to be. Sigh.

Enen is very sad, but who truly understands how she feels? Everybody just want an answer.

Drained.Out

2009-10-13T12:50:00.004+08:00

Every part of me tells me I'm tired, be it physically or emotionally, I'm really tired. So much so much had happened in my life, leaving me happiness, unhappiness, tears, joy and be it good or bad memories, I will remember them all as they are parts and parcels of my life.

I just learnt that no matter wad happens, ur families, ur kin will be there for you always regardless of what. And no matter wad happens, you just have to learn to accept or let go. Accepting is one thing, letting go is another thing. Both can be a happy or painful process, depending on the situation.

I wish I was just a star, shining down on anyone whose lonely and needs help, giving them warmth and courage to face the cruel truth. To be able to watch over each and everyone whose living on earth.

Sometimes, I wonder. Have I really regretted about anything or decisions which I made in the past? Looking back, I must not deny that I did. At the point of time when we decided to make that decision, it might seems right and tells us we will not regret it. But as time passes, everything and factors changes, resulting in a change which will makes us feel that we have regretted making that decision. However, if you had never made that decision, would you have been able to come by to what it is today? Life's ironic and contradicting.

I realise I had all along been a weakling who never faced up to the truth. No matter how much tears, it's not gonna change anything. I just want some peace now.

It's time to stop for a rest, time to think about the future and what I really want.

WORK = MONEY

2009-10-06T12:42:00.002+08:00

Been working at iluma for closing for the last 2 days. Quite enjoyable though it's very quiet there. Hopefully I'll not be working there for long cause i still prefer Parkway. :)

Many things on my mind, who can I talk to? Cause I really don't know what to do and don't evn know what I want. I just don't want any regrets. Once wrong, there's no more turning back already. Sigh, really very stress. But I'm glad I still have good friends around me cheering me all the time and the support from baby at times.

Baby is going overseas soon next week on the 18th october and will be back only one month plus later on 23rd November. Which means, I'll be separated with him for 6weeks. wow. Is that another kind of holiday for me? I will miss him for sure. But it's also a good time for me to learn to be independent and also tink over about wad i want.

Wish baby all the best, a good and safe journey for him I pray. And yea, I love you.

F1 pictures.

2009-10-02T20:58:00.003+08:00

Finally I got the chance to come and upload the pictures taken during F1. Hahas. Yup, really had an enjoyable time with everyone. Thanks for all the fun :)

The rest of the group photos and stuff are in my FB, can take a look there if you are interested.

Gotten over with my hair already, it dosen't really looks so bad after all. And my hair is getting better each day as I have wash with conditioner n treatment everyday. :D Well, look on the brighter side I shall!

Thanks for the confidence you gave me :)

itchy hand.

2009-10-01T14:34:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I thought about it for a whole night.

IF i didnt went to cut my hair and stuff, I would have beautiful normal hair.
IF i had been cleverer, my hair wouldn't land up in such a state.
IF i didn't yearn for a new hair style, i wouldn't have such a ''NICE'' one now. -.-'''

I have never been so sad over my hair before even when there was once I cutted my hair damn short like a mushroom head during my primary school days. I didn't tear at all. But now, I can feel everyone laughing at me. ):

I'm doing all sorts of treatment to get my hair back.

I''m rotting at home now. Baby just called me earlier telling me that his grandfather is in changi hospital, wondered wad happened. But he didn't ask me to go down so I stay at home to wait for his news. Hope for the best.

F1

2009-09-30T22:04:00.002+08:00

Forgot to blog about F1 just now.

Yup, it's over but it was overall enjoyable and tough. But we made it, and nobody fainted though we all kept saying we are going to get heat stroke and stuff, going to faint. HAHAHA, so funny. I really had fun with everyone. Cause Im not using my own lappy now, i wun be uploading pictures for the time being. Sorry about the boring and wordy post.

But I really wish to thank Francis our in charge for taking good care of us. And is even thinking of a gathering with us before our school starts. Wish him a happy belated birthday here too. :D

I'll be back soon with pictures i hope. :X I look ugly now.

I want my hair back!

2009-09-30T19:18:00.003+08:00

Argh, my hair sucks totally.

Went to a salon at bras brasah level 3 to do soft straightening and also cutted my fringe to slant but it dosent looks like slant at all. Oh my god! Everything sucks, now my fringe so short and ugly, behind hair become so rough and hard. How am I going to go out and face people? WTH.

Should I say i'm lucky cause I'm still on holidays until 2weeks later and maybe it will grow back abit? So from now on, I can be a tortise and hide at home except for work. I seriously don't want to go out and become a laughing stock lo. So fugly.

I don't know how to describe it.

Btw I was late for opening ytd for 10mins, was working with a new guy called Javier Tan Martin, sounds like mixed right? but he's a local, omg, don't let him know that I wrote out his full name here. HAHA. He's quite a nice guy anyway. Then came Elena and 3 of us kept talking and I went home with Elena. HAHA.

I'm so free nowadays. I shall make myself busy. Only today and tmr I'm so free. LOL. gotta go help baby buy his zip lock bag for his overseas preparation. Any idea where to get except for ikea?

Away.

2009-09-23T15:36:00.003+08:00

During the first night over, my niece slept with me and offered me her doggy soft toy to hug :S HAHA, so cute right the doggy.

Went for berrylite chalet and tonned overnight, though i managed to sleep for a few hours on the sofa. Everyone was like disturbing me while I was sleeping. LOL

Felt so tired, booked my final theory already on the 9 october morning. Hopefully I can pass and then I would be able to drive already!! OMG!! Feel so excited whenever i think about it. HAHA

Sigh, i came all the way to watch you sleep.

Ikea.

2009-09-22T00:15:00.002+08:00

Baby went Ikea with us today! :D

Bought some stuff for our house and fresheners,and i bought the lil candle with apple fragrance to be put in my room :) HAHA.

I also bought the new bubble dye in glossy brown colour! shall try it out and see if it's good. :D

Supposed to go for movie with baby after which but sis needed his help to help us fix our tv cable and connect the scv things. So baby came home with us and bla bla.

Till about 10plus then he cab home. Can't see him till thurs or mayb nxt week? due to F1 this coming weekends. omg. I gonna miss him like siao.

Off I go.

2009-09-20T21:13:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I've moved and left to a new place.

This feeling is kinder weird. Baby helped me the whole afternoon while we were shifting all the boxes from my house to car park and on the truck. Sat on the truck behind with all my stuff, recalled angela's song which i use to like alot, yi shi de mei hao. The mv was also about her moving house and sitting all alone at the back of the truck. HAHA

When it was time to go, I didn't dare said much. Just hid my feelings and bid baby goodbye. I know we'll still meet and stuff, but things are different you see. If I didn't move house, it's just 5mins walk away from his house. Now i really feel the distance. If I didn't move house, I won't feel far away from my friends. I can also be sitting beside baby now. ):

I suddenly miss everything.

Finally finish unpacking everything, went down to buy food. Now really got nothing to do.

Argh! nvm, baby's coming over to my house tmr and we're going ikea. First time baby joining us for our family outing, omg! gonna be fun. Looking forward. :DDDDDDD

Baby's treat to Jack's Place.

2009-09-14T22:30:00.005+08:00

Baby came to fetch me after work ytd and we went to eat Jack's place :) HAha, feel so blessed. Because baby spent such a bomb just to make me happy. :XX I feel really bad cause the bill was really exp!! Thank you baby! Love you!

These was our meal:

Baby couldn't finish his steak and chicken combo! So wasteful!

I wanted my steak to be cooked medium well which means there should be no blood stains or blood at all. Yet, they served me the steak with blood flowing out from the steak, totally spoilt my appetite. So I complained to the waitress and I don't know if they re-cooked it or cooked a new piece for me but it was really nicee n delicious! :D

Darling's mango mouse cake.

My chocolate ice-cream with almonds.

The bill :XXXXX

I really want to thanks baby for this sumptous meal :D Most of the food he also cant finish and end up giving all to me. Then still say I so piggy eat so much, not scare fat. LOL! Qian bian !

Dear says long time once go eat good de so nevermind. HAHA! We haven't been out together for long time already. And I supposed I'll be moving house this weekend ):

No more :

Tonning with baby till morning

Staying out late till midnight

Going out often/everyday

Reaching baby's house in just 5mins walk

Spending lotsa time slacking away in baby's house

Lots of things I'll miss. BAby, I miss you the most. I know we can still meet but not as often as we do now I guess. Sigh. And also baby's going overseas soon after school reopen ):

I don't know wad to do.

Day out with Sister Poh!

2009-09-11T00:19:00.004+08:00

HELLO HUMANS!!

Crystal is back with her super nerdy ugly fringe :D

********************************************************************

BEWARE!!!

Together with Sister Poh, look at her black lipstick!!

We were supposed to be heading Vivocity, to collect back her LG Phone which had been sent for repair earlier on. Due to laziness, and because of her brother's reluctance, we went Bugis instead for Dinner and some shopping. HAHA

Went Breako Cafe for our dinner, ordered steak and salmon and also a pizza for her brother. Ate till so full and the food was not bad but didnt take pictures cause we were too hungry and started eating when the food came. LOL

Started to cam-whore~

With her witch hat, damn cute the hat. HAHA

2 nerdies :DD [[ love this pic alot!]]

Bestest friend of mine in the world.

Ah toot crystal.

Still not used to see-ing me in this way right?

Lastly, her brother who refuses to take picture with us.

Yeah, tat's all for the day. Well, got to start working tmr already. Will be moving house soon next week I guess. So sian. I gonna miss everything back here. Miss everything I used to have.

I miss Baby most. Dear, I love you.

Upset,

2009-09-10T01:08:00.001+08:00

Yeah, that's me now. Pardon my retarded and messy picture. The cap was from baby when he went to Taiwan during his training. Didn't wore it once. My bangs is slanted due to the cap pushin some of my hair to the back. Haha

Actually wanted to post more pictures and stuff, suddenly mood dampen because of something I saw, well. Forget it. Mayb he has changed. But I just cant accept it.

Am I just being silly? What's so great about you, crystal?

It's time to wake up, I should stop dreaming.

Double happiness.

2009-09-10T00:20:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I can't believe blogger is back to normal again ~ Yeahness ~

Plus exams is over now and it's holiday time for a whole month ! Issen't it double happiness? How I wish I can post up some pictures now. Well, some people had seen me in my new hair already.

My kuku fringe become bangs aka mushroom head -.-''' It's totally like nerd can! dosen't suits me at all, in the first place, why I still go cut? YAh, why huh? Stupid me. Wanted to have a new look for a start, ended up like an idiot.

Things between me and darling is stil the same. Sigh. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Wad to do? This is just our fate. Argh. I'm lazy to update. will be back later.

Final destination.

2009-09-02T15:42:00.002+08:00

Went to watch Final destination on Monday with Vanessa, jue hao and Shengming. We all met up at PP as I wanted to eat yogurt and also to travel to Grand Cathay together.

Initially, we wanted to watch the 3D version but it was packed so changed to normal one instead. And the ticket seller wanted to see our IC. Vanessa was still underage in terms of month so we told her to hide aside previously and lied to the person that our friends have not arrived yet and we are buying the ticket for her.

We bought the big combo popcorn with pizza to share. The person told us to proceed and they would deliver our pizza during the show. Told vanessa that i would grab her hand and shout if im scared. LOL.

Well, the show was damn damn gross can!! And the pizaa had to be delivered in the middle of the show when we have all lost our appetite. Told them I couldn't take any popcorn or pizza otherwise it would fly. HAHA!

Shouted, squirked, everything I could throughout the show. Funny part was, I covered my eyes and kept shouting to SM,: WHAT HAPPEN? WHAT HAPPEN? LOL! Can imagine how ke lian he is.

No picture post is so ugly. ):

I shall stop here. HAHA! be back soon!

Peace.

2009-08-26T15:17:00.003+08:00

Hii all! I'm back!

Sigh, my shitty lappy/ie/mozilla still dun allow me to upload picture. But school de can leh but I can't possibly put all my pictures in the school com.

Anyway, sister brought me to make a new pair of spectacles and I really love it :D Went to collect it ytd at Century square. Even the box and wiping cloth is in pink! :) only a lil part of my spectacles is in pink which is not easily visible.

I miss baby baby! Have not seen him for 2 days! It's not long but still will miss him right! :X

Dunno if he meeting me later on anot, cause he's already out from camp but last 2 days we had quarrelled on phone. And atmosphere like not so good! I'm so sad can. Why does quarrel exist in this world? I really hate it. I just want Peace.

Working almost every thurs and fri, weekend never work because I wanted to spend more time with my baby. But nxt week not working due to exams nearing and need time for revision. I'm dead shit le cause there's so much things I haven done and studied. Especially my tourism, still haven study yet and so much things to memorise!! AHH!

I really mean to study but this week, I have start to slacken again because of the rainy weather in the morning as I wanted to enjoy sleeping in while it's raining so I skipped morning lessons. Now, teacher see me also say: CRYSTAL, long time never see you huh! :XXX Sigh.

Wad should I do now? Sometimes, I have an urge to give up.):

More than anything.

2009-08-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

Sian, my blogger is getting worse. Now the web page look like hell -.-

I got so much pictures, but no way to upload them ):

Baby becoming lazy, never update his blog again. LOL. Went back to work on fri, dunno why, although I've recovered, but still got the tired and sian sian feeling so everyone was like, hualiao, are u ok? why so not you today? HAHA! Thanks for everyone concern, I was just feeling tired n sian.

But today I'm super energertic and fine again, did opening and finish work went off to find baby. His mummy cooked for us again. But he was too full to eat, his brother also cut the drumstick meat for me cause I lazy and dun wish to eat the whole drumstick.:X

I miss baby alot last night, felt so lonely without him around because he had a marathon this morning. Didn't dare to to sleep with alone with the lights off and even turned on the tv till morning.

Anyway, off to majong! Update again soon!

1st year anniversary

2009-08-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME AND BABYY !!!

Intended to go out der, but had school till 5pm, see-ing baby so tired. So i decided not to go out, just spending time together is enough :D

Baby lied saying he didn't buy any present for me, in the end he surprised me with a couple of necklaces make up of 2 rings tangled together, his is a big size while mine the small one. :D One of the ring is rounded by little sparkling diamonds, love it alot!!Thanks baby. But mine too small already so cannot see clearly, only baby's can be seen.

Stupid blogger still haven recovered so I can't post the pictures up :(

Anyway, for the past few days I was down with high fever and flu,baby had been taking care of me, feeding me with medicines and keeping track of my temperature, putting ice bags on my forehead. I really appreciate alot and wanna thanks him :) Baby, I love you lots. Muack

I knew how worried you were when you realised that my temperature shot up to 39 plus degrees, wanting to send me to the hospital in the middle of the night, felt so loved n cared for then. I also know that each time I wake up from coughing, you would stop from ur computer games and turned to take a look. I also know that you played computer to prevent from falling asleep so that you can take care of me. Baby, you did so much for me, sarcrifice your sleep and energy, all this I know, because you love me.

So I really don't blame you for being so tired today,now i've recovered and it's my turn to look after you. :)

And for the past year, if it wouldn't for you, I wouldn't know wad love is, nor realise my own mistakes. I promise I'll make up to you and be the best I can be. Thanks for your patience in me, for always making sure that I reach home safely, for always giving in to me. I have learnt alot, grown up, all because of you. You are my pillar to hold me up, my strength to carry on, my will to strive, my everything I need. Baby, thank you for being there.

I love you, I miss you, I need you .

Sick

2009-08-08T18:38:00.000+08:00

Argh! my blogger is still down. Even worse than normal problems, now I cant even relink people. Cause when i click save, it hangs and changes nothing at all ):

When can I ever post a proper post with pictures again? I'm waiting.

Anyway, work ytd and went for supper/dinner with Miss Poh :D We went Geylang to eat 'smelly' toufu ( only she eat ok) =X while I enjoyed my fried pig intestine :) Damn nice, somemre is people treat de, so is nicer :P

Can you imagine I was already having a mild cough, and after eating all those, we still went for an hour of budget k, and there goes my voice! I had sore throat after which, this morning woke up feeling painful, with a blocked nose too. Didn't dared to tell baby tat I was sick cause I dun want him to worry and also afraid he will forbid me to come out and meet him tonight :X But afterall, I can't hide my cough from him. HEE

Kinder surprise that there is actually people out there reading my blog and encouraging me, Thanks alot. Even though I might not know who they are, I appreciate it alot :D

Argh!

2009-08-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

My blogger is still down.

can't upload pictures!! So fed up.

If this continues, mayb I'll be changing site already. Sigh. Anyway, TPS is finally over :D So happy, done with project, over with printing!! :) can u imagine how excited I am? Soon, I'm going to graduate in half year's time i guess :D

Well, gonna be working more often to earn more money because both baby and me are learning driving, should say after i pass den i'll be learning too. So we will need lots of money and we are saving up to get a car too. Hopefully before he leaves for training overseas, he can pass his tp. So that when he's back, we'll be able to get a car of our own! :) Then I will pester him to send me to school every morning when he's free. HAHA! I'm still dreaming. But baby's working hard to pass his license quickly, he's been booking almost every date available for his lessons! JIAYOU baby, i will support you der.

Who understands?

2009-08-03T20:02:00.000+08:00

Stupid blogger still dont allow me to upload photos, fed up -.-

Recently, many things had happened, things just dun go the way you want. All the bad and unexpected things had happened to me, what can I do? Really can't take it and even thought of suicide. I know it's stupid but nobody will noe what I'm going through, I'm just like a walking zombie.

Skipped costing lecture with the rest and went for early lunch, ate ban mian again. then off we went to the library to do our Tourism powerpoint as we are presenting tmr, omg, damn nervous about it.

Didn't sleep well last night even though I was very sleepy and almost reaching my lalaland, got woke up by strange kind of feeling which I even thought is that 'thing' . But I guess is I'm too tired and had a nightmare.

Meet up with my baby to eat dinner, see-ing him makes me the happiest, but he got to go back to camp again tonight which turns me down. So sian, tmr can't see him again cause he got his 2nd driving lesson. Actually, kept persuading baby to take cab back tmr morning because I missed him alot but he dun understand and think that it's a waste of money. Sigh. Though we see each other almost everytime he book out but I just felt that we haven't been communicating much recently or spending adequate time together..as we are always spending time with friends for majong.. Sometimes I keep annoying him, and when both of us are tired, we get stubborn and start to quarrel. Tried many times not to tear, but wad can you expect from a crybaby? Sometimes I didn't wish to work because I wanted to spend those precious time with him yet he tinks I'm lazy or childish. Am I? It's only about less than 2months time that I'm moving house already and would be far apart from him, wun be able to spend time till late night, got to take long bus journeys and lonely times. And it's about 2months that he's leaving for overseas training for 1month plus.. By then, I wun get to see him ,only can hear him through phone, and mayb he can't even call back. During that time, I really don't know what to do without him. I don't dare to tink much about it, cause everytime i do, I just start crying. I know he'll be coming back but during that period of time, if I turn to friends, it's unfair to them cause they'll feel I find them only when he's not around. Sigh. So whenever I can, I really wish to see my baby every minute till then cause I want to cherish all these moments. Tinking of taking a week's break from work before he's leaving to accompany him. Baby, I love you.

2009-07-28T14:45:00.000+08:00

I'm back!

Got back accounting results today, and I scored a C. I'm happy because I thought I would fail as I didn't really studied :X Plus the paper was a killer! So hard to do! )=

Anyway, just glad that I passed! HAHA Going to watch our belated Harry Potter later on! YEAH!

Back for updates soon!

New haircut.

2009-07-26T23:27:00.002+08:00

Went to cut hair with baby last week.. He kept laughing at my short fringe, well -.-'''

Sat finally meet up with the gals to celebrate yiting's birthday. Went to eat Jack's Place, not really that expensive.. Then went bugis to walk around..

I got no pictures currently. Will be back soon.

Sticky honey

2009-07-21T14:38:00.002+08:00

I'm in school right now. Cause now is tourism lesson again. Finally got back our results and very glad that I scored an A :)

Hopefully, I wun flunk accounting next mon. God bless me.

I'm still on my way to recovery, cause my flu seems to come and go randomly -.-''' Took the medicine Jaclyn gave me last night, woke up this morning with feelings of drowsiness and bad headache.

When I was on the bus, I went asleep with my ear piece on, den suddenly awoken by a loud EXCUSE ME! LOL! Because the uncle sitting next to me inside wants to alight, and he had repeatedly ask me to excuse me yet I didn't hear him because I was asleep and with ear piece on. Felt so stupid then as some of the passengers had turned to look.

Still feeling sleepy right now. I shall be back soon :)

Not going to watch Harry Potter already because Dorris has lecture at night and she saw her shedule wrongly. It's okay dorris, I dun blame you :) dun feel guilty. We can meet another time with more berrylitees around :D

Someone plan an outing pls! :S

The taste of Happiness

2009-07-19T20:55:00.003+08:00

Went back to work today, from 12-6. Felt so sleepy and tired, having to turn around make yogurt, bend down pour yogurt, makes me feel dizzy too. lol.

Thanks Jaclyn for bringing medicine down for me :D LOVE YOU! HAHA. She's always so cute.

Ended work and bought the vanilla flavor yogurt with oreo bites, omg. It's heaven ~ Haha. Must go try !!

Will be going to movie Harry potter with Janice and Dorris the 2 sisters, haha. Still not sure if anyone joining us. But we are booking the tickets today cause it's always full house.

Got to go now. Update soon.

Beloved Berrylitees.

2009-07-18T22:43:00.004+08:00

Created a separate corner for links of all berrylitees colleague. Love them to the max.

Although I've only joined Berrylite for merely less than 2 months, but I treat there as my second home. Since the day I joined, it has always been laughter and happiest added in my life. All the lovely Berrylitees and our Berryliter (Rey), has been humorous and really very nice people. They made me feel warmth and relaxed. They made me look forward to going work, sometimes even have the urge to go down on my off day. Even when I'm sad, I'll tink of them, because they never failed to make me smile. Ain't they sweet?

My best closing partner SM, told me to mention that he's charismatic, handsome, suave, tanned, oh-my-god-so-lovely-guy and charming :SSSSSSSSS ( Forced) :P But seriously, he's been a nice friend, always have to put up with my lame jokes, got bullied by me and stuffs. HAHA! Thanks buddy!

The 2 cutest berrylitees, Jaclyn and Siwei, both never make me stop saying how cute they are. Always doing funny stuffs. I can never forget how Jaclyn asked the customer : Hi, do you wan me to let you try ? ' Sounds funny n weird issent it? LOL! Sm and I had a great laugh out of it. And Siwei being ignorant of who Joanna Peh is because she dun watch TCS. They are so cute.

Janice who is always laughing out of nowhere, she's also very cute and muddlehead. We always share stories of our bfs, life and stuffs. Dorris, her sister also a very sweet n nice person. Love them all. And Allie just like my mentor, teaching me lots of stuffs at work. Although I seldom work with Xinya, but I find her very nicee too. And also Vanessa, still rmb the first time i saw her, felt that she quite fierce n scary, but as time pass, actually i find her cute and friendly too.

Overall, I just wanna say, I love them lots. :DDD Very happy and touched to have them by my side. HAHA, dun tear when u all read this :P

Sorry if i missed out anyone. :S

Sick

2009-07-17T20:20:00.003+08:00

Down with flu, runny nose (跑步的鼻子）, cough n a lil fever.

Didn't attend school today as I was too tired to open my eyes. Told rey that I couldn't work with my condition tmr. Lucky I'm off today. Should be okay by sunday.

Baby accompanied me and took care of me the whole day. Thanks alot. He's complaining that I write so lil things about him now. haha . He brought me out to have lunch den buy panadol for me to eat. Cause I didn't want to see doctor, afraid that it's h1n1 :S Joking. Haha Baby's the best ler, love him!!

Gonna go rest alrdy. Will be back soon.

Why do these tears come at night?

2009-07-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

Didn't come back to update ytd as I lent my lappy to baby again. Since he's out from camp and I got no time to use.

As soon as Tourism exam ended, I went home. Started preparing and waited for baby to call me and went down to meet him at Amk Hub. It was about 5plus already when I reached. We went to eat Mos burger for dinner and decided to watch The Transformers 2.

The air-con was damn cold and baby sacrifice and let me wore his jacket. The show lasted for 2hours plus and really very exciting ! I love it to the max. Find it very cool too.

After the show, we bused home. Was so tired and lean on baby's shoulder to take a nap. And he sent me home.

Egoistic.

2009-07-14T21:00:00.006+08:00

Happy birthday to Jasmine :)

May all ur wishes come true. Hope you love the cake and same thing to Yvonne but her birthday is tmr :)

Costing results was released yesterday and surprisingly, I got a B grade. Very big thank you to Andy, Meiyan, XinSheng and Yvonne who taught me :)

Was kinder bored after studying for awhile and started taking photos. Baby looked so 'forced' to take a picture with me. So naughty.

Gonna go study for Tourism ler !! Good luck everyone! :D

Finally.

2009-07-13T02:25:00.003+08:00

Yeah, decided to change to the default blogskin as I couldn't find any nice blog template. This looks fine to me. Haha

Off to sleep now ! So tired.

Well, I have also put up me & baby's stuff on the blog again :D

2009-07-12T23:58:00.016+08:00

Well, I'm back with pictures!!

Let me start blogging with the most recent things.

Firstly, Happy 11 months to me and baby ! So much that we have been through, thanks for always being there while i've been a bad gf. Still, wanna say I love you :D:D

Secondly, it was my baby's birthday last week and I decided to bake oreo cheesecake for him. Well, the looks ain't appealing but the taste was still okay. Don't believe can ask those who have tried before. HAHA! At least it was my first attempt ok! Hope you like it.

Wish that I can celebrate every of your birthday for you always :D There's no pictures of us as blogger don't allow ):

Next was the gathering with my girls. Didn't know why I don't have any pictures to post. All lazy to take photo. haha

The mini jacket I bought on that day :X

The outing with my classmates which was supposed to celebrate yvonne and jasmine's birthday in advance but Yvonne couldn't make it tat day.

I'm so lazy to blog in details.

AWWWW! The cute baby kaien my mummy babysits is no longer with us because we're moving house soon! so cannot look after him anymore. ))))))))))):

I swear I miss him alot!! Luckily I took some pictures with him. Cute right?

Lastly, the tourism meet up during the very first week of our holiday.

Went to many places and im seriously lazy to explain and type out now. LOL.

Photos edited by silver lin. :)

I'm environmental friendly :XXX

That's all!! Okay, I promise to update more regularly from now on! :) Night!

2009-07-09T13:47:00.002+08:00

YO!

Ya, finally I'm back for a little update :D Sorry that it's abit latee, but I have been really busyyyy ! =X With work and gatherings with all my loved ones :)

I promise I will post all the pictures up real soon and with details!!

Finally, Costing CA2 ended today. I swear it was very last min study which started ytd afternoon in class. I hope I can pass :S But still, a very very big thank you to those who taught me during the short period of time.

Now muz forcus on Tourism cause the test is on next wed. But I guess should be okay ba :) I muz aim a for A grade for Tourism :X

Well, will be off to work till 9 after school.

Going to snatch my lappy back home tonight to speed blog . HAHAHA

Anyway, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY BABYY WEI QIANG :DDD

2009-06-29T00:40:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I updated again. Have been busy working, otherwise, too tired to even switch on the computer when I reach home.

I got so much to say, so much to do, but so little time left. Holidays are ending and exams are coming. Got to start studying soon. )=

Will post pictures when I've edited and sorted them out.

2009-06-21T14:25:00.003+08:00

Ytd went to work at 6pm, was kinder shack. Been working most of the time recently, but money not enough. ):

I was the cashier and sadly, it was my 1st time short of money. Short of $4.90 exactly the cost of the medium ice-cream. Sigh.

Anyway, opened up a blogshop selling shoes and also custom made shoes.

Do take a look!! :)

www.black--seven.blogspot.com

2009-06-17T14:52:00.004+08:00

I didn't update for a week as I was busy working during weekends and too tired to even on the computer.

Monday, 15 June 2009

Finally holidays are here and it's time to relax and enjoy! But still working as well to earn more money!

Met up with tourism group members which was half of usual cliques to do our project which was to go around areas of interest and take pictures for our powerpoint. It was indeed fun yet tiring process as we had to travel here and there under the scorching sun.

Sweat was like free flow, when I went into the stuffy toilet at Lau Pa Sat, I see lots of sweat droplets on my face which melted all my make-up. OMG! Imagines how hot I was.

Some pictures which I took,

Nice nice satay sticks @ Lau Pa Sat

Singapore's Merlion

Jasmine and me @ iluma

Me and Meiyan

Shujun and Me

@ the esplanade

Usual zi-lian pictures :X

That's all. Gonna eat steamboat with with classmates at Bugis later on.

2009-06-10T21:48:00.008+08:00

Woah ! Finally completed uploading and editing all the pictures ! It'll be a long post full of pictures ! HAHA!

We held a mini birthday celebration for Cedric Ng in advance today :) Sabotage him and all, with cakes and snow flakes. Everyone was like looking and laughing when they saw the scene.

Was waiting for him and the rest from taxation to come over cafe 2 for our lunch, so we bought the nuggets and fries to share and eat to kill our hunger ! :X

Finally, they all arrived. And today's meiyan's turn to cook fried rice for us, but this was done by her mum. It's simply delicious! With lots of ingrdients and taste really niceee :D Thank you!

Little photo-taking session at the cafe !

While we(gals) were preparing the cake, the guys were busy playing cards. Nevertheless, they still stop to pose for us :DD

Stupid cedric with his eye-closing pose.

The very very cute hamburger cake which Andy helped to buy :)

Shujun and Meiyan busy putting the candles while me and Jasmine taking pictures.

Finally done, cedric looking shocked.

While they were singing the birthday song for him, den making the birthday wish.

Blowing the candles and being forced to take out the candle using his mouth.

HAHA! Being sabo by us to spray the snow flakes all over him. XS made the letter C on his back.

Look at his hair! HAHAHA! We did it purposely. Looks like as though it's winter time and he's very cold. LOLOLOL!

All the gals posing with the snow man. LOL!

Cedric the birthday boy!

XXS, the sabotager! HAAH :X

JAsmine the photographer.

Alex the joker!

Meiyan the accomplice of the sabotager. HAHAS

Shujun the organiser :D

LAstly, me :)

We asked the guys to pretend that they looked really cold. HAHAAHA!

Finally, a group photo but short of Yvonne and Weijie.

TALL versus SHORT :XX LOL!

Happy birthday to you cedric in advanced :) Hope you had enjoyed the celebration which we had planned for you. May all ur wish come true.

Finally, I'm done with this long post. Someone surprised me with a new wallet last night, so happy :DD Thanks alot ! Love you! :DD

Well, played majong at friend's house again. Off to work again tmr!

2009-06-09T19:31:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HUANG PEI SHAN :DD

this is my third post for today. lols .

currently over at friend's house playing majong and using computer. :)

Nothing else to update le.

Girl, now 17 liao, one more year to legal age den can go clubbing together ler :) May all ur wishes come true alright.

2009-06-09T15:36:00.003+08:00

Got this quiz from Shujun's blog, was told to do it :)

1. Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kiss?
- Cheek :D

2. How do you feel when you wake up this morning?
-Damn sleepy, wanna sleep longer!

3.Who was the last person you took photo with?
- Damn long since I last took photo so I forgot :X

4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
- Yup, I've always been a spoiled princess at home.

5. Would you ever donate blood?
- Yes, If I had the courage.

6. Have you ever has a best friend who was the opposite sex.
-YESYES! He's my bestest friend :D

7. Do you want someone dead?
-No? -.-'''

8.What does your last message says?
- Secret ! :X

9. What are you thinking right now?
- Something impossible.

10.Do you wish someone to be with you right now?
- Yes but it's impossible too.

11.What is the time you go to bed last night?
-2am plus.

12. Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
- I'm in my school uniform now. So wad do u tink? HAHA.

13. Is someone on your mind?
- Yes, of course!

14. Who was the last person who texted you?
- Weiqiang :D

15. Tag 10 Random people to do this survey:

1) Joyce
2) Baoyu
3) Carol
4) Liangpieng
5) Andy
6) Peishan
7)Yishi
8)Weiqiang
9)Jianhua
10)WeiTong

16.Who is no. 2 having realationship with?
- She's single!

17. Is no. 3 a male or a female?
- Female of cause.

18. If no.7 & no.10 get together, would it be a good thing?!
- Yishi and Weitong? LOL!! Someone will be jealous!! HAHAS!

19. What is no. 1 studying about?
- Eh, hotel management.

20. When was the last time you had a chat with them?
- Different people, different timing.

21. Is no.4 single?
- Yup.

22. Say something about no. 3
- Carol . She's a cheerful and crazy gal :)

23. What do you think about no. 3 & no. 5 being together?
- Carol and Andy? Hmm, weird.

24. describe no. 9.
- He's a nice listener and a good friend to have! He's still single, grab him now! For details, contact me now!! :P

25. What will you do if no. 6 & no. 7 fight?
- Yishi and Peishan? I will just sit and laugh because they are always fighting ! HAhas!

26. Do you like no.8?
- Random. LOL. Yes, I love him :D

2009-06-09T14:56:00.002+08:00

Yoyo !! Here to update my blog again .

Work over the weekends, it's really tiring to do the closing stuffs as you have to wash this and that. However, I really love and enjoy working there because all of my colleagues are so nice and fun-loving. They never fail to make me smile since the day I work there :DD Thanks alot ! And they really taught me alot.

School as usual, slacking around with cliques and we are gonna have our long-yearned holidays soon!! Anyway, we got selected for the F1 thing and there'll be meeting on friday so cannot skip school. HAHA. :XX

I wanna work more during the holidays and pass my probation period to become a real staff at berrylite :) All the best to me!! :)

Shujun, get well soon!
Jasmine, faster update ur blog. now you owe me $10 for this big tag here :P

2009-06-06T02:03:00.002+08:00

5 June 2009 ` Friday

Didn't went to school as usual. Heard that me and cliques were selected for F1 work. So from nxt week on, every friday got F1 meeting for training or stuffs I guess. Sian.

Went to work at 6pm. Cliques came to find me as they went there to shop. :)

Home after work.

Work was fun although quite tiring after standing for a few hours. Thanks for my colleagues who taught me stuffs and make me laugh :)

Ps/ Now I don't know who to trust again. Who to tell my troubles to.

4 June 2009` Thursday

My leg finally getting on better. Can walk normally without feeling tat painful anymore. Happy :)

Had work after school and boss ask how's my leg . Thanks for the concern :) Because not many was concern or believe.

Home sweet home after work.

3rd June 2009 ` Wednesday

Went to school as usual.

Kinder sad. People just don't believe me and think I acting around? Couldn't control myself and burst. Sigh

Anyway, I'm tired of all these.

2nd June 2009 ` Tuesday

Didn't got mc so went to school.

Forgot wad really happened.

1 June 2009 ` Monday

Went to school for Costing retest and cab back to Aljunied to see doctor. The doctor asked how I got my injury so I told him it was an accident but he said the person was trying to murder me and asked if I wanted to sue that person? LOL

But I tried to convince him that it was just an accident. Well, my leg's swollen and painful. Ended up limping everywhere I go, as it really painful when I force strength on it to walk properly.

Forgot wad happened.

31 May 2009 ' Sunday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BAOYU !!!! :DD

It was a bad day for me. I really have bad luck. Was majonging at friend's house and some conflicts arised. Well, don't really wish to blog out what had happened.

But anyway, my leg got injured as a result although it had nothing to do with me. I got a shocked as I saw much blood flowing out. Expected that I would cry like nobody's business as it was really painful.

All clinics were already closed on sunday night so I went the next day.

Just wish to say, I really never blame anyone or putting it to heart. Hope everything would be over soon as it was just an accident.

2009-06-05T16:49:00.009+08:00

St James @ Powerhouse 30-5-09 Saturday

Celebrated baoyu's birthday at Powerhouse, in fact her birthday is on 31 May so she could only enter after 12am. LOL!

Hope you did enjoy urself, Happy birthday! :DD

We reached there at about 10plus as students got free entry before 11pm. So me and liangpieng went in first den to the toilet to cam whore :X After tat, faster went out to pei baoyu wait for 12am to struck.

The birthday Girl. Happy 18th!!

The mango cake. Anyway, I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry.

LOL. I post the pictures wrongly. Suppose to be making a wish first den blowing the candles. :X

Anyway, cutting the cake afterwhich. I feel tat I'm quite a good photographer leh, cause the place so dark but I still took quite accurately when she was doing those actions. I swear I didn't ask her to stop or slow down for me to take the pictures. Pro right ? Anyway, I'm just joking in case you tink Im trying to show off -.-

Still cutting the cake. Actually she onli just cut through. Afterwhich, I was the one helping out to help and distribute the cake. :)

Photos are not in order. :XX

Baoyu and LiangPieng at vivo's toilet . While we were waiting for 12, we went over to 7-11 to buy drink and of cause to cam whore too !

Trying to pose like models. But failed . HAHA

This is taken inside Powerhouse's toilet.

When gals get drunk, we start hugging each other. LOL!

Before we started anything, we already cam whore alot inside the toilet. LOLS!

That's me trying to pose with the beer, but the lousy photographer made it so blur. -.-

New friends we made introduced by tianhe (left), the three people behind the birthday gal are our new friends! Enjoyed alot !

Tianhe and Baoyu

Look like they tryin to sell the bottles!

Seriously, tianhe is trying to spoilt the picture -.- felt like slapping him. lols.

Lastly, a photo of the three of us. Yeah, it was LiangPieng's virgin club with us that night. Really enjoyed myself alot this time even though I went to club quite a lot of times . This is considered the most enjoying one. Thanks gals!

Anyway, even though the birthday girl got KO and slept throughout the club till the last song but still me and Liangpieng got really high to the extend we even went up the stage to dance. Hahas ! Can see we really drunk ah! Tianhe and his friend said I even cried saying that I saw a devil ! LOL! The most hilarous thing which happened I guess. But I didn't rmb myself crying lor, faints .

Thanks to those who took great care of us! Let's all club together again soon! :DD

Ps/ if you wan to think otherwise, I cant stop you.

2009-05-28T23:05:00.002+08:00

I'm here to update again !

Well, just wanna share something about my work stuffs. Today's my first day of work, thought it was gonna be like some other work which I did before, tiring and boring. But no, I was wrong !

It was really fun selling the yogurt ice-cream, the shop's name is BerryLite. Do drop by to try our yogurt ice-cream, it's 100% fat free and totally tasty!! You can also add toppings of your choice and we do sell waffles too! Our yogurt ice-cream flavours changes every week! Don't miss out! If I'm not wrong, there's only 2 branches currently, one at Parkway and the other at Iluma :)

Anyway, my colleagues are really cute and nice people. I made lots of new friends ! Happy! But I'm kind of slow and stupid at work because it does requires practice and skill to make a nice yogurt ice-cream which is neither over-weight or under-weight. HAHA! I kept practising it and sort of under a curse? Because it stops at the same weight which is I put too little.

Well, practise makes perfect! I got work again tmr at 6pm till closing. Feel free to drop by, it's at basement level just beside coffee bean and opposite subway :D

Didn't even know it was time to knock off until my colleague told me. Really blur but I really enjoyed too :)

Good nitez everyone.

2009-05-28T13:18:00.002+08:00

Ytd I cooked Spagetti for clique to eat . End up I had to skip lecture cause I woke up late =X Hope they had love it. Although it didn't taste that nice.

Today, Xinsheng made rice dumplings for us to eat. It's tasty and really nicee! :D Thanks alot :)

One each for us.

I made 2 types of spagetti ytd.

The second type below. Taste a lil too bland because I forgot to add more salt !

Anyway, nxt week the rest gonna cook fried rice, or sandwiches for us? HAHAS! Looking forward to next week.

By the way, I found a job but still on 2 weeks probation before I'm considered a real staff there. So I'll be starting work later on at 3pm. Gotta rush off!! Update again tmr ! :D

2009-05-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

I have been neglecting this blog for some time, been lazy recently.

Will update proper posts soon.

2009-05-24T02:40:00.003+08:00

Overdue pictures. :X

Look at this ! The whole bunch of keychains is attached yet, to only ONE key -.-'''

This belongs to my ex colleague, Lambert. As he loves collecting keychains. However, I was shocked to see tat he only has one pathetic key being protected by a whole bunch of keychains. HAHAHA ! Had a good laugh when I saw it.

Been majonging this few days.

This dog belongs to my friend. It's so pathetic. Everytime we go there to play majong, some of us bring dinner over and it can only sit there and see. LOL! Cannot eat, so ke lian. But it's real cute!

Nothing much to do also. Pleyed a lil of dota . LOL .

Alright, dun tink I never study today hor. Though I fell asleep halfway. But I do noe better now le, only goodwill still dunno. Tmr gonna continue studying again. Tired!!

2009-05-23T01:18:00.004+08:00

Wanted to update with pictures but my com abit lag can't receive bluetooth. Lazy to use thumbdrive. :X

Shall post the picture tmr :D

Went to school only for accounting and after which went tampines mall to watch ' Angels & Demons ' with Jasmine and Shujun. Was supposed to watch with the whole clique but as usual, last min some cannot make it. Sigh..

Anyway. Quite a nice show but very long, we watched for 3 hours. -.-''' But the cinema was freaking cold. LOL.

Trained down to Douby Ghaut to meet up with Lambert, who is my ex colleague at NYNY. Supposed to be our NYNY staff meeting but end up, all the rest couldn't make it so he asked his friends, Ivan and Chai, along. They are quite fun people. But also rich people. Then, Ivan bumped into his friends and we had dinner together. In fact, it was only them as I already eaten so just accompanied them to Billy Bombers. We talked about lame jokes and was laughing all the way.

After dinner, the guys took bus 65 back with me since they stay at Joo chiat and Paya lebar there.

Finally, my fake eyelashes has arrived and went to collect from Baoyu :DD Went bball court to find the boys playing bball. Left home to change and out for dinner den over to Ah siang's house for majong session again. HAHA.

Enjoyed my day. Thanks to the people around me who really made my day. I'm really fortunate to have them being my friends, especially with a silly gal like me :X HAHAS! Some people would have just dump me aside and ignore me.

Well, I told Jasmine and Shujun tat I'll be out studying for accounting on sat! They dun believe it, it's gonna be true ok! So people, dun ask me out tmr!! :P I'm not available. LALALAS~

2009-05-20T20:50:00.003+08:00

Overdue pictures.

Taken last week when I went out with Jasmine and Shujun. Just got these photos :)

DEAR DEAR ~ :X

DAR DAR ~ :X

Shortie VS Tallie XDD

The ladies were sexily dressed wor. Can see from the picture right? HEE! :XX

School is as per normal, but getting tired as each day pass. Got to find a job real soon, because the balance in my account is decreasing fast. And I wanna GET a new phone )=

My phone is dying on me soon. It sucks. Hate it. I wan LG cookie in pink ! or Renoir which is only in black. In need of money!!

I need to learn to become independant in order to survive. Sigh .

Miss you alot. I'm confused. Sigh!

2009-05-19T18:19:00.003+08:00

下雨天了怎麼辦

我好想你不敢打給你

我找不到原因

什麼失眠的聲音

變得好熟悉沈默的場景

做你的代替

陪我聽雨滴

期待讓人越來越沉迷

誰和我一樣等不到他的誰

愛上你我總在學會寂寞的滋味

一個人撐傘一個人擦淚一個人好累

怎樣的雨怎樣的夜

怎樣的我能讓你更想念

雨要多大天要多黑才能夠有你的體貼

其實沒有我你分不清那些徹別

接近還能多一些

別說你會難過

別說你想改變

被愛的人不用道歉

2009-05-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

Finally changed new picture.

Went to Bugis with Shujun and Jasmine :) Our lil princess was late, I still thought I'll be the one late. Hahas .

Ate Mos burger and the 2 girls kept saying I dress too sexy and everyone is looking . They tink too much already. LOL . We had a long chat and gossips. :XX Girl's nature.

Walk around and I bought a new top. Hees . We went over to Marina Square too. Weather so hot can. The gals bought the same wallet from fourskins and back we went to Bugis. And we took neoprints too. Super long ago since we took one after last yr nov.

Accompanied them wait for bus den off to mit Baoyu and Michael. Wah. We waited for her so long at starbucks. Went to food court for pepper lunch again.

Went to pierce my second ear hole by Adeline, I was like trembling when she was about to start! HAHAH! Somemre, we only realised today that she got belly piercing !! Tat's a lil shocking can ! LOL ! Nxt, I shall get my four ear hole on the left and my second ear hole for the right :DD

Because of my some spoiler, had to go home early.

It's been long since I ever confided in someone, surprisingly, I chatted with my er jie for close to 20minutes and told her about everything which I would not have dared told her. Really appreciate her understanding towards me. I love her the most. Seriously, without her, I wouldn't know wad to do. Dajie supports the family but she never really understands how we feel. Just because she earns and tries to care for us, she did it the wrong way. Sometimes, she's just so unreasonable. The reason why I don't bother explaining things to her too.

Thanks er jie! :DD I really love her alot!

2009-05-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

I'm home since 12.30am. Okay, I know it's latee.

Went to Bugis with a friend. Shall not mention name otherwise people starts gossipping away -.-''' When will these nonsense stop huh?

Should I grow long fringe?

My eyes looks a lil swollen :/

While slacking in iluma's toilet. I zi lian ~

How I wish I were some pretty girls, can take picture anytime, anywhere and in any outfit, also will look nice and pretty and photogenic.

I just look so retard can. HAHA . I not emo-ing in the toilet. Just tat I'm alone in the toilet, nobody so sian. And I wanna slim down. My legs are too fat.

Anyway, wanted to get my high waist shorts der but don't have M size already. Walao! Very sad can, cause I went to almost all the shops possible but none sell the design which I wanted! )= Regretted not buying it earlier!

Went back at around 8plus den over to siang's house for majong session! :D HAHA! I know I play too much majong but really nothing to do lor. And so early go home also don't know wad to do. Alright, I meeting the girls tmr!! Excited! I'm afraid I have to cancel travelling down to Tampines ler cause I sure can't wake der. So early.

Maybe mon den I bring the dress back to remove tat stupid tag. Just my luck!

Really feel so sad and kinder depress. No matter wad I do, I never seem to achieve something which I can be proud of myself. For the whole 18 years of my life, I really have done too much wrong things and taken too much wrong steps.

I keep thinking and trying to make amends to my mistakes. But things just got worst. I think I should just leave it and don't care a f*** for anything from now onwards. Because once you're wrong, nobody wants to give a second chance to amend it. So why bother? No matter wad I do, it's just WRONG! I'm always the one whose at fault.

I've been a bad friend, bad gf for the past few years. Leave me now if you regret being my sister, being my friend. Cause I'm not worth being one.

I've always been the one leaving others out when I got my bf.
I've always neglected everyone's else around me.
I've always been a flirt in everyone's mind.
I've always been looking out for my friends only when my bf is not around.
I've always been a useless & stupid crybaby.
I've always been dependant on everyone else around me.
I've always been a spoiler.
I've always been finding friends after I'm single.
I've always been listening to bf instead of friends.

And I've always been giving myself excuses that I will be forgiven and that everything will change. But I've been so wrong . I hate myself for being all of the above, being such a bitch. Kill me if you ever see me on the streets. You'll be eliminating everyone's pain.

Cause even to my mother, she loves me and dotes on me. Even though she nags alot , alot and alot at home. But I haven even tell her ' Happy mothers' day! ' How bad can I be?

I've always been throwing my clothes around leaving them everywhere.
I've always been complaining how little my pocket money is.
I've always been complaining how naggy she can be.
I've always been throwing temper/tantrums at her.
I've always been leaving utensils unwashed in the basin.
I've always been the laziest at home.
I've always been talking back to her after every sentence she nag at me.
I've always been leaving her with dirty clothes to wash.

And I've always been disrespectful, a bad and unfillial daughter to her. This is how I sucks, be it being a daughter, friend and sister.

2009-05-15T13:09:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone!!

I know I haven't updated a proper post for a long time ler. But I don't tink anyone bothers. =X

These few days, haven't been eating or sleeping well. It's either I forgot my meals or I got no time to eat. -.-''' Been numbing myself in craziness, if you are my classmate, you will noe why. Ask Shujun or Jasmine? They almost went crazy too. Hahas !

Cause sometimes I emo, sometimes I keep singing non-stop, and sometimes I laugh for nothing. LOL!! Crazy right?

Ytd after school went to eat Qi Ji with Shujun and Jasmine den went on to Tampines 1 to shop. Spent a bomb at Vogue. realised the salesperson didnt remove the tag and have to go back again on sat to remove it. -.- waste time

Thanks for showering me with loves, cares and concern. You've been a great friend! :D Love you lots too! HUGS!

2009-05-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

你还会关心我吗？还爱我吗？
这样的结局对我们都好吗？
我突然好想好想你。

Tmr's Costing CA.

By hook or by crook, I have to pass! Have to chiong later on with an empty stomach, cause didn't eat dinner. No mood to eat also.

Sorry to cause you come down tampines watch me revise Costing, Miss Poh.

Thanks for everyone's concern. But I will be fine. Off to bath and chiong costing ler..

2009-05-11T21:59:00.002+08:00

2 more hours towards our 9 months anniversary.
I should have been very happy anticipating this moment. But why do I feel so confuse and shaken? Have I really decided what I want it to be?

如果没有你，我会怎么样？我真的能够放下吗？我真的害怕做错了决定，一定会后悔。

I'm not noble. But just being selfish.

Tell me what to do. Tell me who to trust.

After meeting you tmr, will the result change?

2009-05-11T21:16:00.004+08:00

Went out with the gals during sat. Went orchard and this time we took picture with a guy 'wearing' the flip flop slipper!! HAHA

SEEEEEEEEEEE!

Cool right?! He was so paiseh when i went forward to ask.

Our conver was like

ME: Hi, can we take a photo with you? NNNNNNN YOUR SLIPPER! (LAUGHS)
HE: ok,paiseh sia!! (shy shy look )

LOL. So cute right.

Went clubbing at St James Powerhouse at night. Bump into ***** . So qiao can? -.-''' I thought it was, but it wasn't. Kinder disappointed. HA

Clubbing sucks. Not gonna go again in the short period of time. Especially at St James Powerhouse.

As for Today, Let's welcome Weijie back from hongkong! Don't worry, he's not suffering from any fever or sore throat or wadever you might tink!

He bought all of us MUSHROOMS! And I got the most idiotic looking one. ):

Look at the eyes -.-''' So abnormal. I call it BENDAN. HAHAHA

School was fun. nothing much to update. Went to T1 with shujun and Jasmine. Ate Qi Ji den sent shujun to work. HAHA

Thanks Jasmine for accompanying me to walk while waiting for Meihua and Jowena. :)

Pei the 2 gals to eat dinner at Mos burger den walk around and went home.

Things are still fine for the moment. But who noes?

I'm feeling upset cause I still feel tat there's a gap.

It's still partly my fault.

Tmr shall be the last chance.

谢谢你一直陪伴着我。不要再对我说你也不知道。

2009-05-09T12:48:00.003+08:00

心里很难受，发生这些事，我还能信谁？
我需要人听我述说，但我不知道要跟谁讲。
也许一切都是我的错，一切都是命运。
放开手，对你对我都好。
一切都变得不一样了，我们已经不是我们。
是我，改变了所有，是我不好。
请你原谅我好吗？过去的回忆再也找不回了。
我恨自己那么没用，是我不懂爱。
勉强并不能改变什么，只让你更难受。
这些日子，真的很感谢你，对我的好。
应该不会有人比你对我更好了，谢谢你。
我已经不懂的如何去面对你，请你相信，我也舍不得。
那些难过的眼泪将祝福你找到幸福。

过去九个月，是我生命中最难忘的一切。是你教会我勇敢，去面对自己的错误。是你一直在身边保护我，爱我，照顾我，疼惜我，对我的一切都细心了解。遇上你，是我的快乐，却变成你的不幸。因为我从来都不懂得照顾人，也不懂怎么做个好女友。

还记得我们岑经说过不会离开对方，没想到终究还是失败了。我真的不希望会有下一次，我们的心都累了。我是真的好爱你，不想再伤害你了。不要再对我有任何留念，我根本不值得你的一丝泪水。所有的不快乐，痛苦都给我吧。或许这是我最后一次能为你掉泪，为你做些什么。你对我的好，我是不会忘记。

我还是爱你的。

2009-05-08T15:46:00.006+08:00

Here to update my overdue pictures. :X

Picture of the piggy and monkey keychain which he bought from Taiwan.

Cap he bought for me

this picture with yiting should be 2 weeks ago :X

Day out with the gals last week. :)

Zilian ~

Picture of the bracelet he bought from Taiwan. Which I mention earlier slipped off from my hand ytd. I didnt even pull it or wad, it just slipped off suddenly when I was on my way to Lecture hall. Sad, but wad can I do? Thanks Meiyan for fixing it back.

It's been 2 days. Today is the third day which we totally didn't contact at all. How did things turn out this way? Mayb it was all my fault for being so petty. What to do? Girl's nature. Is this gonna be the end of us? I really don't know. But I have been thinking alot too.

Mayb letting go is too, a kind of happiness for us.

I'm tired of r/s breaking down after being together for so long. What has happen exactly?

* Forgetting myself & everything *

2009-05-07T13:20:00.003+08:00

Woah. Long time never update my blog already. So sian.

Cause my lappy still not back with me yet, but i going to fetch it tonight! :DD

Currently in school having Tourism tutorial. But slack slack onlie. HAHA

Sigh. These few days sucked. Kept quarrelling with baby since he's back. Over the smallest things I guess? Wth ! I really can't stand it. I know I've changed. But people do change, don't they? Maybe we haven't seen each other for a long time and starts to feel weird when everything tries to goes back to normal. Honestly, I do feel abit weird now, because how to say, I also waited for 3weeks already, 3 weeks can change alot of things.

When baby's not around, my friends were the ones there. When he's back, I realised how bad a friend I was in the past. Neglecting my friends and sticking to him all the time. Now tat I'm able to change and try to balance. Everything's going the wrong way.

I shouldn't be superstitious. But the new bracelet which baby bought from Taiwan broke today and he lost our couple ring. are this really signs?

Don't know wad the fish happened to me. Give me some time. I really need to think carefully.

2009-05-03T14:00:00.002+08:00

Hello people.

Currently over at baby's house updating my blog. Ytd went out with the gals, duper funny luhs.

We went bugis to eat and shop the whole day till night we went separate ways, go clubbing and go home der.

Got my last pay from Bugis street and bought a new dress and a ruffle sleeve top. Wanted to get my high waist shorts too but addiva wasn't working. Shall go find her nxt time to buy! Hopefully got discount. *blink*

The funny thing was, the day before sis pass me a sanitizer because of the swine flu. I kept sanitizing the gal's hands each time after they visit a shop and start touching this and tat, especially every half an hour until they buay tahan me. Say I crazy luhs. HAHAHA

Didn't really accompany baby since he's back. I feel so guilty, cause now tat he's back I should be spending more time with him to catch up but end up I keep going out with friends and neglecting him. baby muz be sad. )= Really sorry.

Ps/ will upload photos up soon.

2009-04-29T20:39:00.002+08:00

No more counting down as baby will be back tonight and reach about 2.30am. Finally I can see him. Issen't it the day I've been waiting for after so long?

Well, school was alright. Tell jokes to clique during lunchtime. Play andy's psp during lesson time :XX HAHA.

Took bus home after school. Thought of many things and fell asleep gradually. Now, just playing majong at friend's house.

is this wad I really want? What am I thinking? pls knock some sense into me. will you?